The Davis and Droz Show

This skit was inspired by a recent Penny Arcade comic, one that I felt mirrored my own feelings I'd had for a while. I don't know when MMA got popular underneath my nose, all I know is one day there was either real boxing or fake wrestling for me to ignore, then the next day people were wearing TapouT (the unfortunate stylization) shirts and there was a third thing for me not to give a crap about. And, while we're on the subject... tapping out is what you do to say you've had enough, isn't it? Why would they name a company Tap Out? You wouldn't wear a t-shirt that said StopfightinG on it, would you?

It only took a few moments of playing UFC 2009 Undisputed before this skit wrote itself in my head. Googling the game to see if anyone had anything nice to say about it (and, I guess not surprisingly, they did, lots of people did), I found comments in forums like this: "I dont know about the grapling aspect of the game. I think the stand-up is alot better then the grappeling. it is way to easy for a guy to be on the bottom and still be abel to mount you." I don't... I really don't know what to say to that. UFC 2009 Undisputed is a game where, by all accounts, and I quote: a guy on the bottom can easily mount you.

Am I being an immature douche-bag, the likes of which the Think B4 U Speak campaign is trying to reform? Probably. But let's take a gander at the different fighting styles on display; styles like the forceful yet efficient Brazilian Jiu Jitsu:



How about the most popular organized sport of The Ancient World, Grecian Wrestling:



Equally impressive is the subtle grace of the Japanese gendai budō, Judo:



And don't forget the "Art of Eight Limbs" of savage Thailand, Muay Thai:



Honestly, at least 90% of screenshots online look like this. And the game plays the same too. If it's not semi-nude erotic grapple showdowns, it's, as Tycho so eloquently opined, "twenty minutes of sweaty dick punching".